Collecting good memories
The date is January 9, 2020. My little Iris daughter and I went to pick Japanese apples on a cold but beautiful evening after school. We even took a ladder without being lazy. The ladder is over for Iris, the tree's supports are gone, the branches of the tree climbed and landed on the top like a crow. The branches are ripe, full of apples the size of a cherry. Many people do not know and therefore do not eat. The park became visible in our ornamental tree class parks. In 2012, while Kurbağalıdere and Moda beach parks were being organized, we prevented the concretization of acres of areas under the name of landscaping as a result of our struggle against the love of IMM concrete. There was neither the Gezi Park resistance nor the solidarity that formed after it and continued its existence for a while. When Iris was in her mother's womb and mother Gülay was at the Taichi meeting with my dear Kobayashi teachers in Germany, she was opening a table and collecting signatures, this meaningless anti-landscape. There were taunts, "You're ungrateful too!" said supporters. We stopped the work by standing in front of the children's work machines. Now, in that area, young people come together until late, make music and dance. Of course they also drink beer. However, not knowing the story of this acquisition. That struggle was not made so that it would be known. However, we all understood how important the public space is in urban life. Gezi brought gains to consciousness. That's when these Japanese apple trees were planted. It is the right to collect as much as the birds of Iris. Someone approached us, whom I later learned was 75 years old. "What are you collecting? Plums?" he asked. I told you, few know. "You can eat an apple," I said. He said, "It's nice, nothing will happen, right? It doesn't happen to us, it doesn't happen to us, I guess." I said, "You couldn't go out there, you took the child out, you collect them from high" he said. I'm hiring children😊" I said. He understood, I looked he was curious, I started to explain. I said, "We are collecting good memories here with my little girl." Then I started to open up: "I attended a training four or five years ago. AÇEV organization, fathers training program. The guidance teacher at my daughters primary school, who has received this training, will guide us. He said to me, you are an experienced father with 3 children, please join. In the first session of that training, we came together with 18 educated fathers. At the end of the session, the trainer told us "remember a positive, rhythmic thing you and your father experienced in your childhood and tell us how this is reflected in your communication with your child". Summary: 5 dads could not find a positive memory. Someone said, "late teacher, what positive moment?" said. The other is I don't want to talk... Everyone dispersed. “This is trauma,” I said, turning to the instructor. “It seems so,” he said. When the man in front of me listened to this, he experienced awareness. His father owned a grocery store. He gave something on credit to a poor woman from the neighborhood. When the father came and heard this, he pulled a brush. Embarrassed and upset. He remembered this at the age of seventy-five. The most beautiful legacy to be left to children are good memories. Their identities feed on them. Property melts away. He supports her in her most difficult moments. Just her? While you're alive, you too. When you are helpless in your conflicts and communication, Döner is nourished by those moments and you get strength. He says these will pass, you continue on your way with hope. So, what I'm saying is that while you're alive, you first feed on good memories. The child will definitely come into contact with these memories one day. The irony of life is that most of it is in your absence. However, if there are these good memories, they will definitely reflect positively on their own children. That is, the past-moment-future is not disconnected, it merges. Man is whole in his relationship with time. They are lies, snobbish "moment" beauties with no connection to the past and the future. In other words, we enrich our "love map" by collecting beautiful moments with our child. I find it in John Gotmann's definition of "love map" to collect beautiful memories. You best extend this to all your relationships as well.
